First imbibe eight (8) quarts of absinthe quickly (see plate 1). Then approach your canvas with undoubted and unerring aim (see plate 2); apply your brush with vigor, endeavoring to get a wide sweep of color (see plate 3). Add other media whenever is convenient (plate 4). Add some more media (plate 5) and then look around for some more media (plate 6), which you should apply with broad, dashing strokes (plate 7). Then when the painting is finished call it "The Aurora Borealis on Mount Chimborazo" or "Twilight in the Zoo," and critics will rave about it.