The Modern Raven

by Epson Apple Poe

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets;

I took a floppy from the drawer.
Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command
But got instead a reprimand; it read,
"Abort, Retry, Ignore".

Was this some occult illusion?
Some maniacal intrusion?
These were choices Solomon himself
had never faced before.

Carefully, I weighted my options;
These three seemed to be the top ones.
Clearly, I must now adopt one--
Choose: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

With my fingers pale and trembling,
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
Longing for a happy ending,
hoping all would be restored.

Praying for some guarantee
Finally I pressed a key.
But on the screen what did I see?
Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

I tried to catch the chips off-guard.
I pressed again, but twice as hard.
Luck was just not in the cards,
I saw what I had seen before.

Now I typed in desperation,
Trying random combinations.
Still there came the incantation
Choose: "Abort, Retry, Ignore".

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted;
Getting up, I turned away and paced across the office floor.
And then I saw an awful sight,
A bold and blinding flash of light,

A lightning bolt that cut the night and shook me to my very core.
The PC screen collapsed and died,
"Oh no ... my database!" I cried.
And from the dark a voice replied:
"You'll see your data ... nevermore."

To this day I do not know the place to which our data go.
Perhaps it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored.
But as for productivity ... Well,
I fear that it goes straight to hell.
And that's the tale I have to tell:
Your choice: "Abort, Retry, Ignore". Unknown from GoodYear in Nebraska

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  Last Modified on 7/9/98

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