Top Ten Reasons Tankers Don't Do Peace Operations:
10. Next thing you know they'll want tankers doing PT.
9. You might miss a really good war if you waste your time doing Peace Ops.
8. Tankers are way too cool to train refugees.
7. "Speed, power, and shock effect" and "winning hearts and minds" just don't mix.
6. Peace Ops never happen where they make good beer.
5. "Feed in Zone" and "Move to Media" are not MTP doctrinal missions.
4. Charlie don't surf; Tankers don't do cities.
3. Chicks dig tanks, not check points.
2. If you use tanks, what would the light infantry have left to do?
1. The Rules of Engagement (ROE) would have to be longer than "move north and kill everything."

For all you lesser branches, a primer on tankers! To know us is to love us. Major Munn
Your hunting dog obeys the commands "halt", "traverse left/right", "forward", and "identified".
You recycle because you feel sorry for those poor b*stards down at Bragg.
You can sleep through a raging thunderstorm, but wake up when your wristwatch alarm goes off.
You let your kids pee off the porch, but ground them when their rooms aren't IAW standard loadplan. You believe that all of the officers wearing castles (Engineer Brass) have the same last name You're always accusing the wife of turning the volume down on the TV and the telephone. You believe that during the Gulf War, everyone was there to support YOU. You laugh at redneck jokes...after they're explained to you. You shy away from helping your kids with their math because you don't have all your fingers. The only ashtrays you have at home are all 120mm aft caps. You giggle uncontrollably when the guys talk about thrill of firing big bore guns like the .308. You spend your days off in exotic locales like the Patton Museum. You say "On the way!" as you pass gas. You name your kids Abrams, Sheridan, Patton, Walker, etc... Your kids nicknames are Sabot, Heat, Hep, Coax, etc... You consider "4" the perfect number for a family's size. You refuse to admit the fact that the Engineer is always right You don't realize that it's illegal to stick your head out of the sun roof while driving. You and your wife have a set of his and hers coveralls. You look down to read your weight, and can't. You have the high score on TANK BATTLE at every arcade within a ten mile radius. You remove your headgear and place your hand over your heart before uttering the words "General Patton." By "Old Kentucky Home", you mean Fort Knox. The only scouts you are aware of are Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. Up is no longer a direction for you. You stop by every gas station you pass in order to "top -off". You invite all your friends over for a barbecue party, and all three show up. You can never buy a big enough car to drive around in. Your wife meets you at the door after work with a hose and a bottle of degreaser. You believe Engineer is a four lettered word. You drive everywhere, including two houses down. You think "Bradley" is one of the girls in the Brady Bunch. You wouldn't consider owning a vehicle incapable of self-recovery in all weather and terrain conditions. You sleep better in a chair than in a bed. You'd make your own "If you ain't a TANKER you ain't s__t!" t-shirt, if only someone would help you spell the hard words. You believe radials are over rated. You were doing "drive-by shootings" before they were a fad. You'd respect the Israeli Army, except they let chicks in tanks. Your children refer to doors as "hatches" and windows as "periscopes." Popular Mechanics is your favorite magazine. You can't wait for the infantry to get their own vehicles, so you don't have to bring so much soda to the field. You fence your wife's garden with old track. You secretly pray that the Engineers save your butt, but never publicly admit to it. You replace your wife's flower vases with new ones after each gunnery. It takes you a few extra seconds each morning to remember that the throttle for your car is on the floor. You track passing cars with your kid's toy telescope.