FROM ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE
These comics were written by Nurendil, Jesús Martí Gómez and drawn by Jordi Bayarri, both from Spain. They originally appeared on ELFENOMENO.com, a Spanish website dedicated to LOTR and related stuff.
ARAGORN AND ARWEN'S WEDDING
GANDALF: Stop asking, Arwen. Tradition is tradition, and I won't do it without them. It's not my fault the best man ran off with the rings.
BILBO: How about doing it with donuts?
LEGOLAS: Making Sauron your best man... Who would do such a thing?
GIMLI: Takes an ass to choose one!
ARAGORN: So I wasn't thinking... Leave me alone!
GIMLI: Bilbo, you up for the poker game at Frodo's house?
BILBO: Sorry, I haven't got a dime... I just blew a wad shopping... you know, I left the house with 20 gold coins and now I don't even know ...what I have in my pocket!
GOLLUM: My Precious! It has my Precious! Thief Baggins stole my Precious!
GIMLI: Frodo, are these two ever going to change or what?
FRODO: What do I know? But that's it for the game. Another Saturday watching TV thanks to Bilbo's big mouth.
GOLLUM: My Precious!
BILBO: Get off, animal!
THE SWORD RE-FORGED
ARAGORN: I am Aragorn son of Arathorn, Isildur's heir, and with the Sword-That-Was-Broken newly re-forged, I will fight the shadow of evil that stretches... that... that stretches over... Gimli!?!?
GIMLI: Yes, well, I did warn you that all that stuff about dwarvish mastery of the forge is more a myth than anything... People sure do exaggerate, eh? heh, heh...
ARWEN: ... :-) ... ... Hey! Á@! #%***!
FRODO: Arwen, stop yelling long enough to help me look for the Ring. It must've slipped off... If I lose it, Gandalf will kill me!
GIMLI IN LORIEN
GIMLI: Look, lady, get this clear: I'm a warrior, so no matter what you say I'm not going off to work in the forest, and still less singing! What's more, I could care less about your Doc, Happy, Dopey and the others since I don't know who they are... and I repeat, I am Gimli, Member of the Fellowship of the Ring, so stop calling me Grumpy, d'you hear?
SNOW WHITE: I will when you stop calling me Galadriel, barmy old dwarf. And do what you like, the story works as well with six as seven!
KID: Waaah, Aragorn! Gollum stole my inner-tube!
ARAGORN: He did what?
GOLLUM: Ohh, yess! Now we has a new Precious, yess, and bigger than Baggins's, much bigger, isn't it, yesss
ARAGORN: This guy is starting to border on the surreal.
LEGOLAS: Just wait until he sees the giant donut outside the new McMorgul...
GIMLI: Hey, Frodo, Bilbo, here's the latest: How many orcs does it take to dial a telephone? Sixteen! One to hold the rotary disk and fifteen to turn the booth! Ha, ha, ha...!
FRODO: You know, orcs these days have no sense of humor, Gimli.
BILBO: I think he just didn't get it... Look, here comes an Uruk-hai, tell it to him...
GIMLI: Do me a favor, midgets, why don't you put it up your...
THE COUNCIL OF ELROND
(BOX): In the gardens of Rivendell...
LEGOLAS: Here, Frodo! Here, I'm open! Center it! I'm free, Frodo, center it! I refuse to play with such a selfish, greedy guy... He won't pass the ball if it kills him! Just think what effect a Ring of Power would have on someone like that...
GANDALF: Well, you're going to laugh when I tell you who the Council has chosen as the Ringbearer, Legolas.
THE STORMING OF ISENGARD
ARAGORN: Yes, Gandalf, he really does have an 'S' on his chest... but when you asked his name, what he said was not Saruman but Sup...
LEGOLAS: Maybe next time you'll pay better attention, wizard!
GIMLI: Leave him to me, I'll clean his ears...
FRODO: Look out, Bilbo, back off, it's coming at me!
BILBO: Relax, Frodo, stay calm! Go to the right!
ARAGORN: Listen, guys... it's just a detail, but if the idea was to be hidden here... Why don't you stop fooling around and put the kites away? Just a thought...
BILBO: Darnit! Now they're tangled!
THE MEN OF ROHAN
ARAGORN: I'm about to receive the emissary of Rohan, who's just arrived... Ah, the men of blond hair, blue eyes, and skin as white as the snow on... on... E... Eomer of Rohan?
EOMER: Hush, Aragorn, hush. You have no idea of the changes they had to make so Tolkien wouldn't be accused of racism... but we're not complaining. The Gondorians have it worse-- so they won't be accused of machismo they have to fight in drag.
FRODO: I bet you didn't expect that, Legolas! Right in the center... and on my first shot!
FRODO: In all the wide forest, you had to paint the target on Treebeard's backside! Just what kind of wood-elf are you, may I ask?
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